The Journey That Never Ends
by AbayJ
Summary: A mix of some Journey Songfics. Please Read and Reveiw.
1. Do This Anymore

**Title**: Do This Anymore

**Author**: AbayJ

**Genre**: Drama/Action/Angst/Dark/Songfic/Shot/Completed

**Couple**: Mostly Casper (EW! but in the way we Journey fans want to see it) and a hint of Journey (at the end!)

**Archive**: Just Ask!

**Rating**: R, for theme and cursing.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the idea, all else belongs to the owners. The song Do This Anymore belongs to Nickleback, you can find it on their CD The Long Road (Gotta check it out, the best CD!)

**Summery**: Courtney finds out some stuff about Jax, what will happen when she decides to get rid of him

**A/N**: Okay, I love this song, and I needed to write something for it, so here it is. I don't think it is my best work but I loved it. So you tell me what you think. It is very dark Casper, which to me is a good thing! I hate that big bird plot point almost as much as I hate that whore they call a plot point!

* * *

Jax walked into the home that they had shared, his smile wide and his blue eyes shining but she felt her gut tighten. What was she doing here? Why had she been here for three years? Why was she still with this man that had used her repeatedly, with a man that had always wanted her only for her brother? Standing up she walked into the bedroom. Almost hurling at the sight of the bed that was in the center of the room. Covered in the same color of black that was on the walls with the same color cream pillows that was sponge on the walls. It was her dream, or what she had thought to be her dream room, until she found the pills.

Pulling out her suitcase, she began to throw her clothes into the black case, tears filling her eyes. Why she wanted to cry was beyond her understanding, but at this moment every thing was beyond her ability to understand. The pills, the letters, the lies. The other women, the people who were sent to kill her brother, her ex husband. How she was kept from her family? How elaborate his whole scheme, how every thing fitted together now. How stupid she had been! How completely stupid she'd been.

She fell for every one of his lies, every single fucking one!  
Finally she let out the tears, they bastard had done this, and this time he was to pay. He had taken 3 damn years away from her. Taken her family away. Had taken her life away. God she had missed out of so much.

So many birthdays.

So many times with the boys.

With Adella.

With Mike.

With Jason.

He had taken the most important people away from her, made her world revolve around him. Soon she wasn't able to stand, sinking down onto the bed, she tried to think how this could have happened. How could she had let this happen? Why had he does this, how had he drugged his wife for three years! Cheated on her! Try to murder her fucking family! How did he get away with all of this? How! It wasn't fair, and he was going to pay for the mess he had made of her life. The mess he had made of their family life. Sighing she leaned over the night stand, opening the drawer, pulling out the cold steel.

Touching the barrel of the pistol, opening it.

It was fully loaded.

Everything was ready.

And this time she was going to take a page out of carlybabes book.

Jax was going to be sorry he had screwed her over.

_Left on an eastbound train  
Gone first thing this morning  
Why is what's best for you  
Always the worst thing for me?  
When am I gonna learn?  
Why 'cause I'm tired of hating  
When will it be your turn?  
Why 'cause I'm tired of waiting_

Grabbing the duck tape, she went into the living room, when she knew he would be sipping his evenin' scotch, in the wide arm chair. An evil smile formed on her face, he was going to pay.

Slowly she walked up behind the chair, her hand had already with a strip of duck tape. Her plan already brewing in her head. "Hey baby." She said in a sultry voice

"Hey princess," he aussie accent, came from the chair but he didn't look up.

Good she didn't want him to, she took the piece of duck tape to his wrist, make it snug--no make that tight around his wrist. He whipped his head around, a little shocked, "You know I read this book on sex and they said bondage can spice up a marriage, so I said why not, I mean our relationship is already hot but not add a little to it?" smiling she came around to his font, tapping the other wrist. Then she began to tape his chest to the chair. After she was sure he wasn't going to break out of the bonds, she stooped down and wrapped some around his ankles. A smile on his face, looking up at him, she gave a smile of her own.

Standing back up, she straddle his knees, reaching down she took another piece of tape off.

"You, mmmmmmmm you know I like this side of you," her grin became ever larger at his words.

_No, I don't, I don't, no I don't  
No I don't find faith in your false feelings  
Not fooled by your misleading  
Won't buy this line you're selling  
Tired of this lie you're telling  
I don't, I won't  
No I won't do this anymore  
I don't, I won't  
No I won't do this anymore_

"I just bet you do!" putting the nearly to small piece of tape on his mouth, he eyes turned into a dark blue, showing his passion. Then she reach back and took the gun from the back of her jeans, his eyes now showing his fear. "You know at this distance I am sure I won't miss," her smile was cold as her eyes. But she felt the shake in her hands.......she knew she couldn't do this. No matter how much he deserved it, she could do it, but she knew who could. Getting up she took the tap of his mouth. "I am getting the rope, don't try anything or I won't hesitate."

Running into the back room, she dig for the rope as her free hand dialed the number of her best friend. "Carly?"

"Courtney, why are you calling me, you ended it between us a long time a go," hearing the woman almost hang up she schemed.

"Please don't, I need your help........Jax......Jax had did this, I swear it. He has kept me from my family with these drugs, Jax did this Carly, please I need you," she said on the sob, trying to hold back the tears.

"Courtney........oh my God, your kidding right, please tell me your kidding," Carly's horse whisper came over the line.

_She says I'm only tellin half of it  
That's probably cause  
It's only half worth tellin  
Every time I try to laugh it off  
That's when we turn around  
And wind up yellin  
When am I gonna learn?  
Why 'cause I'm tired of hating  
When will it be your turn?  
Why 'cause I'm tired of waiting_

"No.......I'm not, I found everything, look I need to go tie the rope around him, please come Carly I need you," hanging up the phone she ran back to the living room, clearing the tears from her eyes, she looked at the man she now despised. But then again she shouldn't, he would be gone soon. Tying the rope tight around him tightly she made sure he couldn't get up.

"Courtney, don't do this! You don't want too," he pleaded with her, his eyes full of fear as she kept her hand on the gun and looked at him.

"You fucking sick ass bastard, don't do this to you! Don't do this to you! How dare you even say that to me! Look all you have done to me, you took my life away, you took my whole family way from me, you made me make you my life. Made my world revolve around you. Made me give up every thing! **HOW FUCKING DARE YOU**! You are going to pay, you are going to pay for what you have done to me and my family," she heard the door open, and smiled as Carly came into the room.

Carly had never seen her fried like this.

And not sure if she ever wanted to again.

She was scared. Scared of Courtney. Scared of the thoughts that were running through her friend's head.

A cold hollow feeling dropped around Courtney when Carly walked into the room. Blue eyes met hazel.

Carly legs felt like sand bags as she made her way over to the tied up man in the center and the woman whose fist was wrapped around the gun. A scary site but one she was familiar with. It was her not long ago.

_No, I don't, I don't, no I don't  
No I don't find faith in your false feelings  
Not fooled by your misleading  
Won't buy this line you're selling  
Tired of this lie you're telling  
I don't, I won't  
No I won't do this anymore  
I don't, I won't  
No I won't do this anymore_

Her hand began to shake as Courtney cast her eyes back to her husbands. Wanting to pull the trigger.

But not wanting to at the same time.

It made her no better then Jason, Sonny, or Ric.

Carly's words made her thought as go away as she saw that her friends was but a breath away from her own.

"Courtney, give me the gun. Sweeties don't do this. Just give me the gun," Carly asked softly as she gripped her friends hands softly.

"He kept me away from my family Carly, he put me on drugs to make me forget. To make me make him the center of my world. I can't and I won't let him get away with that!" Courtney's words were laced with venom and heartache of a woman who had been done wrong by man she thought she could trust.

Feeling her eyes sting with unshed tears she pulled away from Carly's grasp; she once again let his aim fall upon Jax. She refused to cry anymore. Refused to hurt anymore. Refused to play the victim anymore. It was Jax's turn to hurt. Not hers. Pointing the gun at Jax's heart she let an evil grin play on her lips.

Jax's eyes we full of fear and dread. His lips moving up and down with words that just wouldn't come out.

_he says I'm only tellin half of it  
That's probably cause  
It's only half worth tellin  
Every time I try to laugh it off  
That's when we turn around  
And wind up yellin  
When am I gonna learn?  
Why 'cause I'm tired of waiting  
When will it be your turn?  
Why 'cause I'm tired of hating_

Then the door open, the doorway being filled by Jason Morgan. Looking dark and menacing in black jeans and dark blue T-shirt. A leather jacket complete the look. His keen blue eyes accessing the place. Making his way over to where they all stood, except for Jax. 

"Courtney what's going on?" he asked, softly touching her face with a soft caress of his calloused thumb. And wiped a tear as it fell from her beautiful heartbroken blue eye.

The gun fell out of her shaking hands and she grabbed Jason. Her life preserver in this crazy thing they called life. Her rock. "Jason. God it has been so long," was the only words that came out of her trembling lips.

"Yeah baby it has," he whispered in to her fragrant hair. Holding onto her tight, he looked at Carly then softly told her to call for Max and Marco.

Nodding Carly went into the hallways, while he let Courtney lay down on the couch. Soon her eyes were drifting close. Saying a whisper that sounded like I love you. Then she finally let sleep over come her trembling body.

Jason turned away from her with a kiss to Courtney's forehead. Then settled his eyes onto Jax. "so what did you have her on?" his voice cold and full of anger that he could barely contain.

"None of your damn business! And I would like you to stop touching my wife!" Jax said with anger in his voice.

"No, Jax that is where you have it all wrong. You are the one that will never touch Courtney again. You will never go near another woman again. Wanna know why?" Jason asked as he pulled out his gun and added a silencer.

Jax's head only bobbed up and down, to scared to form words.

"Because you'll be at the bottom of the river."

* * *

A few hours Courtney awoke to a heating pad being applied to her stomach. "What goin on?" she asked, her voice still groggy and dazed.

"Shhh rest, you at my place," Jase gentle words drifted over her and eased her nerves a bit. But still fear washed over her.

"Jax........the pills.......the gun.....the lies," all rushed out of her full pink lips and Jason had the urge to stifle them will a kiss. To take her into his arms and make love to her until all the ugliness disappeared from around their lives.

"It's all over baby, your safe. Don't worry," taking her into his arms, he held her again him. Letting her cry it all out. "it's going to all right, okay?"

She nodded against his shoulder and left her body relax against his. Snuggling deeper into his arms. "It's all over then?" she whispered against his neck.

"Yeah baby it's all over," lifting her chin up, he let his lips settle over hers. His tongue teasing and tasting. His hands trailing the length of her back. Up and down. Soothing all the tense muscles as his lips kissed her openly. Trying to give her strength.

She pulled away and cupped his jaw in her silk like palm. "I love you Jason."

"I love you too Courtney."

_No, I don't, I don't, no I don't  
No I don't find faith in your false feelings  
Not fooled by your misleading  
Won't buy this line you're selling  
Tired of this lie you're telling  
I don't, I won't  
No I won't do this anymore  
I don't, I won't  
No I won't do this anymore_


	2. I'll Be Warning Courtney and Carly Slash...

**Title**: I'll Be  
  
**Author**: AbayJ  
  
**Couple**: Carly and Courtney (Yes slash, don't like that, don't read it.) Hints of CarSon and Journey.  
  
**Genre**: Angast/Hints of Romance/Complete/Songfic/Short.  
  
**Archive**: Just Ask.  
  
**Rating**: R (**STRONG R!)**  
  
**Disclaimer**: I own nuttin. Song is Goo Goo Dolls I'll Be  
  
**Summery**: Carly and Courtney turn to each other when their lives fall apart. Following curtain story line.  
  
**A/N**: **FLAMES WILL BE IGNORED**. If you don't like slash, don't read it, it is as easy as that. For all that R/R. Thank you. It means a lot to me. ( LOL sometimes even the flames, at least I know it was read.)  
  
**Key**: _Lyrics._

* * *

_The strands in your eyes  
That color them wonderful  
Stop me and steal my breath  
Emeralds from mountains  
Thrust towards the sky  
Never revealing their depth_  
  
She looked at her best friend, the words rolling out of her mouth, Jason wasn't the father of Sam's baby. Sonny was. The man she loved with all her heart had lied to her. Her best friend, the man that was like a brother to her had lied to her. Letting the wet drops of salt water roll down her cheeks she watched as the same thing rolled down her friend cheeks.  
  
Feeling two arms enclose her into a close hug, and she let the sobs she had been holding back go. For minutes or hours, neither one was sure. Sure how long they stayed in each other arms, and neither one knew when the platonic hug turned into something more. Turned into something that neither suspected. When they pulled each other closer, pulled each other into a passionate kiss. Their lips demanding, their hands exploring curves that were familiar to the eyes but not to the touch.  
  
For one-second they pulled away, brown eyes meeting blue eyes. Looking deep. Searching. Trying to find an answer to what was going on. But then the brunette pulled the blonde back to her lips, her tongue asking permission to enter, to taste her lips. Her mouth. Soon hands were undoing clothing, pulling it away from their bodies.  
  
_Tell me that we belong together  
Dress it up with the trappings of love  
I'll be captivated,  
I'll hang from your lips  
Instead of the gallows  
Of heartache that hang from above  
I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be love suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life_  
  
Their hands touched. Their lips fused. Touching anywhere they could reach. Teeth nipping. Lips sucking. Hands playing. Soon their screams of ecstasy was the only sounds in the room and the lay in each other arms. Neither of them looking at each other, neither of them sure where this came from. How it happened.  
  
The one spoke, not loud, a soft whisper. "What did we do?"  
  
The brunette responded, in the same whisper her hands shaking as it pulled away from the blonde. Scared to admit what had happened. Scared to admit what they had just did. "I don't know."  
  
And she didn't, she didn't know what had happened. Why they had made love, why they had become so intimate. So in tune with each other bodies. When they became lovers and should they act on their instincts and repeat it. Standing up the brunette reach for her clothes and the blonde did the same. Their backs to each other.  
  
_Rain falls angry on the tin roof  
As we lie awake in my bed  
You're my survival  
You're my living proof  
My love is alive and not dead  
Tell me that we belong together  
Dress it up with the trappings of love  
I'll be captivated  
I'll hang from your lips  
Instead of the gallows  
Of heartache that hang from above_  
  
Carly stood first and looked at the blondes still naked back and felt a pang of want. She wanted Courtney again. The man she loved sister. Her sister-in-law. She wanted her again. Her hands had a mind of her own as she traced the path of her spine. Traced the butterfly on the lower back of her new lover. Then her lips followed the same path and her heart broke as the she pulled away from the kiss. Her shirt forgotten in her hurry to stand up. Her full breast naked to Carly's eyes. Tears falling from her red eyes and her voice shaky as she spoke. The room took a cold feel to it to Carly, goose bumps popped out on her arms and the hair on her neck stood up. "Carly I love Jason.......but with you.....my God."  
  
"I know," Carly responded in the same shaky voice. She could loose herself in Courtney. Unlike with Sonny. With Sonny she felt pain, hurt, and anger. But with Courtney she felt nothing but love and ecstasy. How was that? Was she gay now? Was Courtney?  
  
"Then what do we do?" Courtney asked as she slipped on her shirt and sat down to her best friend. Her most intimate friend.  
  
_I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be love suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life  
I've dropped out  
Burned up  
Fought my way back from the dead  
Tuned in  
Turned on  
Remembered the things you said_  
  
"We keep being there for each other, we don't have to be lovers, or we could. But Courtney I can't loose you," the brunette said as she let her hand travel the length of Courtney cheek and she felt happiness fill her as Courtney leaned into her hand.  
  
The lips leaned in and they kissed softly. Then they parted. "I can't loose you either."  
  
They lips found each other again. Their passion taking them over again.  
  
They laid in the after glow of their love making and looked each other over. It was Courtney first to speak again. "I love Jason Carly."  
  
"I love Sonny," they pulled away and got dress. Knowing what they had to do. Knowing that they couldn't let this become more. Only one night.  
  
After they parted with a sweet, tender kiss they both knew it would be more. When the pain got to be to much they both knew they would turn to each other. To get loss in each other.  
  
_I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be love suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life  
I'll be your cryin' shoulder  
I'll be love suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older  
I'll be the greatest fan of you life_


	3. Daughters Mike and Court Fic

**Title**: Daughters  
  
**Author**: AbayJ  
  
**Genre**: Short/Sweet/Cute/Corney/Songfic  
  
**Rating**: G - PG  
  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing! Nada! ZIP! The song belongs to John Mayer  
  
**Summery**: Just a short Courtney/Mike story  
  
**A/N**: Thanks to Lingling for betaing this! And I hope you all like this short fic, let me know what you all think!

* * *

Mike walked into Kelly's and watched his little girl sit at the bar, waiting for her coffee, with two sugars and one creamer. Just the way she liked it, not two sweet, not to bitter; kinda like her, mix of everything to make the perfect blend. Smiling to himself he went up behind her and wrapped his arms around her neck, pulling her close to him. She was his little girl, and though he hadn't been the best father back then, he was going to make up for it now. If she would let him. "Hey babydoll," he said in her ear and kissed her cheek. She laughed and looked back at him.  
  
"Hey daddy, whatcha doin," she smiled at him and he smiled back. Her smile was the most beautiful in Port Charles, there was no denying that.  
  
"Nothing sweetie, just getting to come in for work. Bobbie is putting in a lot of hours at the hospital so I said I would fill in," he let her go and walked back behind the counter, putting on the tannish apron. Washing his hands.  
  
"Well, I gotta go, I have a meeting with Jax today for the banquet, see you later daddy," smiling she stood up, grabbed her purse and gave a quick wave before going out the door and he felt his eyes become misty.  
  
_I know a girl  
she put the color inside my world  
but she's just like a maze  
where all of the walls all continually change  
and I've done all I can  
to stand on her steps with my heart in my hands  
Now I'm starting to see  
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me  
_  
  
This what it must have been like on her first day of school. Her becoming so independent so fast. Already having a one track mind. He smiled to himself, his little girl was growing up all over again in front of his eyes. She wasn't needy type of woman like everyone thought, she was a woman of the 21st century. Successful and a man hater. With that last thought he gave a sigh. Two of the people who should be the most happy were the most sad. Their love for each other so great that neither could over come it. No matter who came in and out of their lives.  
  
Wiping the table done, he began to think back on to the day he left, left his precious seven year old daughter. It had been night and him and Jainie had one of their augments, they hadn't been happy for a long time. She knew he would always love Adella, no one else, but he had been adamant to work it out, for his daughter. Not wanting to leave her like he had Michael but that night the augment had gotten out of hand and he decided to leave. Saying it was best for Courtney. What a mistake that had been. He had walked into her room, it was around 3 A.M., way past her bed time and she was sound asleep. Even when she was a baby she had been a sound sleeper. It took an earthquake to wake her up.  
  
He had tiptoed into the room, kissed her cheek and nearly broke down but still he had left, promising her sleeping form, one day they would see each other again. Just like he had done with Michael right before he left. Smiling to himself he looked upward for just a moment. He knew who had brought his children back into his arms and it wasn't God, but Adella. His one true love had made it possible to have his children back. Giving a silent thank you, he moved onto the coffee pot, making a new one.

_Fathers, be good to your daughters  
daughters will love like you do  
girls become lovers who turn into mothers  
so mothers, be good to your daughters too  
_  
Laughing to himself he filled the pot with water and looked out the window as it slowly dripped. Seeing a little girl with blonde hair, holding onto her daddy's hand for dear life, pointing at the advertisement for a sundae out side Kelly's. Courtney had been like that, trusting, loving, and ice cream wild. Every time they passed a Dairy Queen she wanted to stop to have a carmel and hot fudge sundae. She couldn't have one or the other but she had to have both. But than again that was a long time ago.  
  
Getting back to work, he filled customer orders, one right after the other. Never let anyone tell you that being a waiter was easy. Finally when his help arrived he moved back behind the counter, filling orders from behind the bar. Watching as the customers walked back in and out, smelling, wondering if they too had been daddy girl's. Just like his little girl, if they all had been taken care of? Had all of them had their father love and heart? Their father's pride, unlike his daughter had been left without.

_Oh, you see that skin?  
It;s the same she's been standing in  
since the day she saw him walking away  
now she's left  
cleaning up the mess he made_  
  
Soon he was to busy to give into idle thought and moved back over to take orders until one person voice rung through his head and he turned. Seeing the beautiful smile of his babydoll. Her hair up in a messy twist, a twist that had all been in place when he had first saw her this morning, now her make-up was smudged and her face haggard. She was in need of sleep he could tell and he came around to pull out her chair. "What's wrong sweetie," he asked, concern evident in his voice.  
  
"Just a hard day with an ego maniac, but I am sure you know how that is," she sighed and eyed the fudge that was on the counter and he smiled. Knowing what she needed. He looked around Kelly's, seeing there was two waitresses around, and most of the customers already served.  
  
_Fathers, be good to your daughters  
daughters will love like you do  
girls become lovers who turn into mothers  
so mothers, be good to your daughters too_  
  
"Yeah that I do, and I know what will make the frown turn upside down, go sit at a table and I will be with you. I will go on my break and you can tell me what is going on. Sound good?" he asked softly and she nodded. Slowly getting up and walking to the table. He watched her sit down and rest her head on the table. Grabbing to sundae cups he filled both bottoms with Carmel, then ice cream, then more Carmel, then more ice cream, and finally topped both off with fudge and a cherry. Picking them up, he carried both over to the table, sitting one in front of his girl. "There you go sweetie."  
  
Watching her face light up, she looked at him, "You remembered," her voice was choked with emotion and she stood up, hugging him.  
  
"Of course I did baby, you are my only little girl," he hugged her fiercely and sat her back down before taking his own seat. Watching her dig into the ice cream. His eyes filling with pride. She was the strongest woman he knew.  
  
_Boys, you can break  
you'll find out how much they can take  
boys will be strong  
and boys soldier on  
but boys would be gone without warmth from  
a woman's good, good heart_

"Daddy, did you know Jason was the father of Sam's baby," her voice was low as she sat the spoon down, leaning back in the chair. He watched her eyes blink fast and watched how she made the tears disappear, or try to at least.  
  
"No......I didn't," feeling his anger rise he looked at her, his protective father mode in full gear . How dare he do that to his little girl? Ready to go hunt down Jason and kill him with his bear hands but he knew that would only cause more problems for Courtney so decided to do it while she was asleep.  
  
"Yeah........I mean I have no right to be hurt.........we are......we are divorced and at the time the baby was conceived we were separated. I can--can't expect Jason to stay single. But it still hurts.......she will give him something I never could," his heart broke as he listened to her. Her tears now falling without shame and soon he was up and out of his seat, pulling her into his arms.  
  
"Shhh now babydoll, just because she is giving him a baby does not mean a damn thing, you gave him something she will never be able to, your love and your heart. Two of the best things a woman can give a man. Two of the things I am sure Jason will treasure the most. So you just shhh, and give me that big smile," he said as he wiped her tears away with his thumbs. Stroking her hair.  
  
On behalf of everyman  
looking out for every girl  
you are the god and the weight of her world  
  
After a few more moments of tears she stopped and looked up at her dad, and gave him a shaky smile. "Thank you dad." She kissed his cheek and backed away.  
  
He smiled and hugged her again, "My pleasure baby girl, just remember that okay, no one could ever love Jason Morgan like you did, and no one can ever love you like Jason Morgan did. So don't give up on him."  
  
"I will try not to daddy...........I should get home, Rosie needs to be walked," she looked up at him, tears still rimming her eyes but her smiled a little stronger.  
  
"Okay baby, I love you, I will see you later," he hugged her once again and kissed her cheek. She smiled again, this time a little more brighter and grabbed her purse.  
  
"I love you too daddy, thanks once again," she walked back out the door. A little more wiser, a little more happy, and a little more grown up. Grabbing both sundae dishes, he walked back to the counter, dumping them into the sink. Watching her stop outside the tables, taking her cell phone out of her purse and dial a number.  
  
Smiling, for once he knew he did something that would benefit his daughter. For once he felt like a good dad, and he looked upward. "Thanks Adella, " he said softly and got back to work.  
  
_Fathers, be good to your daughters  
daughters will love like you do  
girls become lovers who turn into mothers  
so mothers, be good to your daughters too_


	4. Name

**Title**: Name  
  
**Author**: AbayJ  
  
**Genre**: Romance/Angst/Short/Songfic  
  
**Rating**: NC-17  
  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing but the idea. The song belongs to the Goo Dolls  
  
**Summery**: Jason watches as he hurts her, remembering another and better time. AU.  
  
**Key**: _Lyrics._ **Flashbacks.**

**A/N**: **Flames will be ignored!  
**

* * *

He watched her as he hurts her. It is so sickening that she lets him do this, the she lets him play with her heart like this. She deserves better, always has. Even better than he could give her when she was his.  
  
_And even though the moment passed me by  
I still can't turn away  
'Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose  
Got tossed along the way  
And letters that you never meant to send  
Get lost and thrown away_  
  
**Flashback  
  
She was staring up at the night sky, seeing the star tinkle and the moon glow. Her gold blonde hair hitting her shoulder blades and looking radiant. The dress was tight and showed off every curve. Something that he loved, not a thin as a twig, all the women in Paris was either a twig or a bus but she was perfect. Standing behind her as she looked over the beautiful city from the Eiffel Tower. Deciding to speak he said the first thing that came to mind, "Beautiful isn't."  
  
"Gorgeous," her smile came through her voice and made him smile. She always made him smile. Made him feel like he meant something to someone. He hadn't felt like that in a long time. Maybe that was the best, he wasn't ready for love, not after Keesha, not after she betrayed him. Not after she left him for Jax. Not yet. Neither was she, no matter what she said. Not after Brain left her. After he betrayed her like no other had, not even AJ.  
  
Walking closer to her, he stood next to her and smiled, smelling her soft perfume. She was so fcking beautiful it wasn't fair. Letting his hand slide down her shoulder to her wrist, then bringing her hand to his lips and kiss each finger. Giving her a rare smile and she did the same thing, hers giving the shining stars to compete with.  
  
Taking her hand and walking back to the hotel, they walked back up to the room. Their lips had started the fire in the elevator and now they were spreading it to the bedroom. Teasing, tasting, their tongues played a game of cat and mouse. Laying her down on the bed, he lips moved from her neck, to the opening in the neckline oh her dress. Letting his tongue dip down to touch the top of her pale mounds. Reaching behind her, he pulled down the zipper of her dress, and pulling down. Showing the black lace bra and G- string set she was wearing. His member rose in response and he kissing her neck again, leaving his mark.  
  
She reached and undid the buttons on his shirt and pushed it away from his body, wanting to feel his skin, wanting to taste it. Running her hands up and down the flat planes of her stomach, feeling it contract in pleasure. Moaning as he ran a hand up and down her body, from left breast to left thigh and then doing the same with the right side. Soon he was going down the same path with his lips. Finally when she was writhing and moaning and shaking with pleasure he pulled away the small scrap of silk the hid her womanhood and slid into her slick walls. She contracted around his cock, his moan mingled in the air with hers. Moving slowly but forcefully, letting her reach to edge, then stop, pulling out.  
  
She was screaming by the third or fourth time he did this, her fingernails biting into the flesh of his shoulder and he trust into her, fast and hard. Letting them go over the edge together.  
  
End of Flashback  
**  
Watching the tears fall as she sat there, hearing the words said to her play over and over around in her head. Her sobs loud and heart wrenching. He knew buy the way her hands shook, he knew she was so deep in thought she didn't feel him watching her.  
  
_And now we're grown up orphans  
That never knew their names  
We don't belong to no one  
That's a shame  
_  
**Flashback  
  
They walked up and down the beach, smiling at each other sometimes, and other's just looking at the water, watching the sun go down behind it. Her hair was up in a bun and she looked so damn gorgeous, it was hard now to put her down one the ground and ravish her. She had a purple string bikini, with cutoff jeans shorts on over the bottom. "I love it here, I would love to have a house, right in this spot. Look how far it is from everyone and not a soul is near. The sunset is so beautiful. It would be perfect for a family."  
  
Walking ahead of him she kicked the sand and looked at the creatures that were crawling on it. "Hey, hey slow down," she just laugh and ran into the water, looking over at him with a smile.  
  
"Why, all this is so beautiful," she dived under and swam, soon he drove after her and grabbed her waist. Bringing her up with him, kissing her when she go her breath, and then throwing her back in the water. Laughing harder she swam away and swam back to the shore laying on the sand. Coming up next to he, he kissed he again, undoing her bikini bra, when she shook her head no, he wonder what she meant.  
  
"You think I am going to make love with you after you threw me in the water," laughing she stood up and ran back to the hotel, before he caught her around the waist. Both still laughing he turned her around.  
  
"And do you think I am going to give up that easy."  
  
End of Flashback  
**  
He still smiled about that, but he had given up the easy. Let her slip through her fingers, something that she always has regretted. Something he thought he would always regret. They, at one time, had meant so much to him. Had told each other everything. Never would he tell what she had told him, and he knew she would never him either. They have gotten through their broken hearts together, and had took the pain away. At one time, he thought her could never feel pain like he did when Keesha left him, but now, he knew he could.  
  
_You could hide beside me  
Maybe for a while  
And I won't tell no one your name  
And I won't tell em' your name_  
  
**Flashback  
  
"You know, I have never told anyone about her. I loved her, I still do on some level, but she couldn't take my life, not that I expected her too. It is not every women that could take not knowing if I wasn't going to come home or if I was going to go to jail. Never new, if she was the one in danger, if.........if our child would be. But she took that away so I just tried to forget her and him, with you I can," he said as he drank the beer and sat on the floor of the terrace.  
  
"I know what you mean, Brain, took everything I ever wanted with him, including my chance to have children. When.......when he stabbed me, I thought I could......I could never feel anything as painful as that but when they told me I lost my baby and the chace to have one, that was it. I knew there was a worst pain. He was so jealous, so controlling, so mean and hateful. Sometimes I think he was worse then AJ. I know AJ would never kill his own child or me. He loved me on some sick level but to Brain, I think I was a mean to an end, and when I couldn't give him that he was pissed so, he killed me, or tried," her eyes were shimmering now, and tears about to fall. She didn't let them and he thought more of her. Not one to give into her emotions.  
  
Linking hands with her, making a bond never to repeat what had been told. This was to stay between them, no matter what. No matter what happened.  
  
End of Flashback  
  
**That was on of the best moments of their relationship, they shared some of the hardest things about their lives.One of the last good moment though, too. When they had smiled and they had alughed. They didnt do it much after that. He knew why, he changed, he had been to cloes to the edge of falling in love with her. So he pushed her away and hurt her. Every night after that, they slept on the ends on the bed, and never touched. Never made love. If he had then maybe he would get it, then he would have knew he loved her, he couldnt risk that. Couldnt risk his heart, but right now, he wished her had instead of crushing both hers and his. Never again would he do that. But after one letter, one letter he wrote it all ended, he still remember every word of it.  
  
Dear Courtney:  
  
We have to end this, we have to be away from each other. For you. I dont want to hurt you. I dont want to put you in danger. I dont want to hurt you like I did Keesha. It has to be trhis way, I am sorry.  
  
Jason.  
  
He said those words over and over in his head. It wasnt fair, it wasnt fair that he did this to her and him, but he had. Guessing it was the time period, a lot of things going on but sometimes it had to be like that but goddammit he wished it hadnt been.  
  
_And scars are souvenirs you never lose  
The past is never far  
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there  
Did you get to be a star  
And don't it make you sad to know that life  
Is more than who we are_  
  
**Flashback  
  
Looking at her back that, it was tense and stiff and he knew why, the note he had left. It had took him an hour to write it but he didn't stop him from coming back. He had to do this face to face. no matter what. He had too. "I am sorry Courtney, but it has to be this way," his voice hitching as he said the words.  
  
"WHY, WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS, ANSWER ME YOU FCKING BASTRD, ANSWER ME," she shouted at him. He saw the tears fall, fat and large. But he couldn't answer her question, he wasn't ure why he did it. Maybe it was the fact that he didn't want to hurt her in the long run, like he did Keesha.  
  
"It is in the letter," trying to calm her, but he could she it didn't work, the pain and anger was there.  
  
Throwing the paper in his face, he ran over the words on it, "SO YOU WERE GOING TO END IT LIKE THIS, HUH? LEAVE ME WITH A DAMN NOTE. GOD YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN AJ OR BRAIN. YOU MAY HAVE NOT HURT ME PHYSICALLY BUT YOU BROKE MY GODDAMN HEART," walking passed him. "I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO END IT, I, AM, BASTARD. BUT KNOW THIS, I LOVE YOU, I FCKING LOVED YOU, BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER NOW DOES IT," walking out, she slammed the door. He felt tears fall, strange when he didn't let them fall for Keesha, but now he was. For a women he didn'teven love.  
  
End of Flashback**  
  
Now he knew why he shed the tears, because he loved her, putting his hand on the glass. "Courtney it did matter, even back then but I was to blind to see that," Jason looked one at her beautiful hands, with the ring on it, she knew who it belong too but it was time for Lorenzo to die. Walking to the pier, he hopped this didn't hurt her, but he knew it would and with every step he felt the regret.  
  
_We grew up way too fast  
And now there's nothing to believe  
Expands to insert a long sentence into your document.  
Reruns all become our history  
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio  
And I won't tell no one your name  
And I won't tell em' your name  
I won't tell em' your name  
Mmm, mmm, mmm,  
I won't tell em' your name  
Think about you all the time  
And I don't need the same  
It's lonely where you are come back down  
And I won't tell em your name _

_

* * *

_  
A/N: Kind of bitter and angst, but I was in that kind of mood today, oh well, I still hopped you liked it. I love that song. Tell me what you thought please, and be honest. Love Always Ashley.


	5. Honesty

**Title**: Honesty  
  
**Author**: AbayJ  
**  
Genre**: Romance/Angast/Sweet/Short/Completed/Songfic  
  
**Rating**: PG/PG-13  
  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, the song belongs too Rodney Atkins.  
  
**Summery**: Journey talks about their divorce  
  
**A/N**: Thanks to Lingling for betaing this for me! Thanks so much girl, I love what you do for my stories. I hope all who reads likes it! Please leave feedback :)

* * *

Jason walked into Kelly's, spotting her out immediately. Her hair was up in a beautiful bun and had a few tendrils escaping. He had smiled to himself but than it faded away when saw the blue papers. Sighing he walked over to the table where she was sitting and sat down, looking her over at a closer angle. She had red rimmed eyes, her neat bun wasn't all that neat, and her clothes not all that pressed. Sighing he noticed she looked just like him, if not worse. "Courtney," pulling her out of her thoughts she looked at him, a little startled.  
  
"Jason, um hi, I didn't......um didn't expect you so soon," she ushered her hand to the chair in front of her, "please sit, we need to talk."  
  
"Yeah we do," he sat and looked her in the eye. Her eyes were watery, and he felt like she did. Like she didn't know what he wanted. Part of him knew he had to let her go, and not just for Sonny but for her. Then another part of him knew that they belonged together that they would always need each other. Sighing, he leaned back. "Courtney, you can take whatever you want, I don't really care, just write me list okay."  
  
"I don't want anything Jason, what I wanted died a long time ago," she always sighed, the need to cry overcoming her but she kept her cool.  
  
_He said, Just think it over,  
and write me a list  
__So we can figure out what we both deserve  
She hardly could believe it,  
that their love had come to this  
Dividing an deciding his and hers  
reaching for a napkin and asked the waitress for a pen  
An one by one she wrote down what she wanted most from him_

"Courtney.........if--if I could go back in time, I would change what happened to our baby, I would have listened to you," touching his head, sincerity in his eyes, if there was only one thing he could changed in his past, it wouldn't be the accident, it wouldn't be going to Sonny, it wouldn't be his relationships, and it wouldn't be his past Courtney. It would be to go back and listen to Courtney about their baby, to protect what they had.  
  
"J--jason yeah the loss of our baby....that hurt........but not as much as loosing you, I knew that your loyalty to Sonny came first but for on--once I thou--thought that I would come first.......but I didn't," he looked up at her shocked.  
  
"Courtney, that's not true........you have always came first with me, always," he grabbed her hand and put a piece of paper in her hand. "Just write down what you want."  
  
_Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust  
A little less time for the rest of the world  
And more for the two of us  
Kisses each mornin'  
I love you's at night  
Just like it used to be  
The way life was when you were in love with me_  
  
She nodded and took the paper, and wrote down the three things she wanted most from him: Some time for us, and only us. Just being with me.......without a third party. And maybe a little less time for your loyalty. Getting up she put that in front of him folded up and walked out of the diner, the tears to much to handle. She walked back to loft and laid on their bed, his pillow had yet to be washed, and it still smelled of him. Holding her close to her chest she kissed the pillowcase.  
  
Jason opened the folded paper when he got to his penthouse, not sure he could have controlled his emotions at Kelly's enough to read this. He opened the paper and looked at his, his tears began to fall, knowing all the things she wanted was what she deserved and he could give them too her, getting up, he grabbed his jacket. But first he needed to clear up something with his boss, something that had been in the plan for a long time. Knocking on the door. When Sonny opened him, he gave Jason a once over, "Hey, what you need."  
  
"Sonny.......I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore, I can't pretend Courtney doesn't mean anything to me, I can't do it. IF yo want to fire fine, I just have to be with her Sonny. She's my heart, she's my soul, she's my love, and she's my friend," walking away from the door, going to the elevator he waited for the shouts that he was fire. But they didn't come......and if they had he must have been already in the elevator.  
  
_She reached across the table and placed it in his hand  
And said, You know this ain't easy for me  
As he thought about the new car the house and the land  
And wondered what that bottom line would be  
An a thousand other things that she's wanted him to leave behind  
But he never dreamed he'd open up that napkin and find_  
  
Courtney heard the knock on her door at midnight, hours after she had left Kelly's.....and her marriage. Her eyes had never been more puffy and watery, she felt like dying but she knew she couldn't do that, even if it felt like her heart was already dead. Even at 12, she wasn't tired, opening the door, her face went pale at the sight of him. Not sure if she should be happy or upset. "Jason what are you doing here?"  
  
He looked at her, her face was pale and puffy, only in her pink terry cloth bathrobe and pink bunny slippers. She looked so vulnerable and he felt like he could kick himself, knowing it was he that had put there. His eyes started to tear up and he pulled her into his arms, he couldn't wait anymore, it had been so long that she had been close to him. "Courtney, I want to make a promise to you, right now, that I will be here.......I told Sonny I will not let you go, I can't. I love you to much and I am tired of pretending that we weren't mean to be and this time I am not going to let you go this time, no matter what."  
  
_Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust  
A little less time for the rest of the world  
And more for the two of us  
Kisses each morning'  
I love you's at night  
Just like it used to be  
The way life was when you were in love with me  
_  
Not sure if she could believe his words or not, not sure if she took take them at heart because if he did and he changed his mind again, this time she might not stop to think before killing herself. Her heart had so many scares and if wouldn't take much more to break it completely. If it was true, you could die of a broken heart, she should have been dead by now but then again maybe with one more crack she would be. She looked up at him, her heart filling with all she had to give this man, opening her heart again with him, kissing him softly. "Don't close me out again Jason, I am opening my heart up again......please don't close it for me again. I don't think I would be able to open again if you did," he kissed her, his lips stopping her words. Licking the seam of her lips and moved her into the room.  
  
"I won't, I couldn't Courtney, not again," touching her hair, he gave a smile, "I will love you forever." Soon he was opening the neck of her robe and looked at wedding rings, and unfastened the necklace and pulled the rings off the necklace. Taking them in his hand, he took her left hand in his. "Will you wear my rings again, will you be Mrs. Courtney Morgan?"  
  
Her tears fell and she nodded her head, "I want that more than anything else," he pulled her into a kiss as he slipped the ring on her finger. "I love you Jason Morgan."  
  
"I Love you too Mrs. Morgan," he moved her to the bed, kissing her the entire way.  
  
_Well, he fought back the tears as he looked in her eyes  
And said, Everything on that list in your hand  
Is hidden somewhere in your heart  
Honestly, sincerity just like it used to be  
The way life was when you were in love with me_


	6. Turnaround

**Title**: Turn Around  
  
**Author**: AbayJ  
  
**Genre**: Romance / angst / Courtney Centric / Short /Complete / Songfic  
  
**Rating**: R  
  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, the song Total Eclipse of the Heart is by Bonnie Tyler.  
  
**Summery**: Courtney thinks about Jason  
  
**A/N**: I guess I should let you all know, that this story is really corny, lol and I don't know what made me right this, but I hope you like, even if it is corny. Tell me what you think.

* * *

Courtney walked into her office, looking that paper work that she knew she had to do, and sighed. She really didn't feel like this was what she was meant to do, and maybe she wasn't. Picking up the phone, she called Justus, it was time to see and at this time she didn't a fck who brought this, she stopped the last time when she had found out that it was being sold to Alcazar, she couldn't let that happen. Not even if she was mad at Jason and Sonny she still loved them both.  
  
When she disconnected the phone call with Justus, she grabbed her purse. Walking around Port Charles, for land; a place to build a new future, one with the man she loved. Somehow she wound up at the loft, since the divorce she had moved out of it, and into a penthouse suite in the new Port Charles Hotel. The loft had brought so many memories that it was time to give them up, she would never have him back. It was time.  
  
Going into the loft, everything was still the same, she still kept the loft, even though she had been meaning to sell it........but for some reason she couldn't, couldn't get rid of it just yet. Not for a while. Looking at the picture that was sitting on the table, the one with her arms around his neck, and his around her waist, both with love shining in their eyes, just a few days before their second wedding. Carly had posed them in the position after she had been saved, she had wanted a picture of them so she could show her God children. Sighing, that was a long time ago, one where God children may had been possible, Carly had said miracles happened, look at her and Morgan.  
  
_Turnaround, every now and then I get a  
little bit lonely and you're never coming around  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a  
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a  
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a  
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and  
then I fall apart  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and  
then I fall apart_  
  
Feeling tears fill her eyes, she put the picture down, she ran her have over the desk, remembering when he had been working late one night and she had come over to jump on the desk right in front of him and made him forget the paper work he had said he needed to get down. They had made love on this desk, their moans the only sound in the whole room. Their breaths as fast as their movements, the screams loud as the reached the peak. Giving a sad smile, they were so in love but now it was like they were enemies.  
  
Turning away from the desk she went and sat on the couch, had there ever been a time when they didn't sit on this couch, an afghan pulled over them, just talking about the past, about the future, about the present. About anything and everything. All their plans and hope, of their family that they wanted to have and almost every time, their talks had gone from talking to kisses to touching to love making.  
  
Feeling the tears fall she got up, wrapping her arms around herself. Was it always going to be like this, was she always going to feel this emptiness. The hole only got bigger with time, not every time healed with time. Only aches did, not broken and shattered things. Going to the door, she looked around, but soon her attention was drawn to someone opening the door, putting up her guard she turned to face her husband........her ex husband.  
  
_Turnaround, Every now and then I get a  
little bit restless and I dream of something wild  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a  
little bit helpless and I'm lying like a child in your arms  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a  
little bit angry and I know I've got to get out and cry  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a  
little bit terrified but then I see the look in your eyes  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and  
then I fall apart  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and  
then I fall apart  
_  
"Courtney, what are you doing here," he asked, feeling his heart pound. He had learned a long time ago, whenever he wanted to let go of Courtney; it was best for him to stay away from her because if he didn't; he just feels his resolve fall away. The need to pull her in his arms and kiss the sadness away form her eyes. Making her smile once again.  
  
"I could ask you the same thing," reaching up, she wiped her tears away. Pretending that seeing him didn't hurt, that she didn't feel her heart being tore into small little pieces. Backing away so he could walked fully into the loft, and close the door. She felt his eyes run up and down her body, and she felt the warm feeling she always got when he did that. That wanting sense that made her head spin.  
  
His silence said what he couldn't say, he missed, with every thing in his heart, he missed her, but he wasn't allowed to have her. Sonny had said that she was a traitor and that she had tore their family apart and it didn't matter what he thought. He knew Courtney hadn't done what she did to heart anyone she had only did it to protect her family, not to cause pain, even if she had. She hadn't meant too, his soul and heart knew that, not matter what Sonny said, he knew that. Taking a deep breath he decided someone had to break the silence, even if silence was golden, "I should leave," reaching for the door, she stopped him, her hand on his forearm, giving her a strange look.  
  
_And I need you now tonight  
And I need you more than ever  
And if you'll only hold me tight  
We'll be holding on forever  
And we'll only be making it right  
Cause we'll never be wrong together  
We can take it to the end of the line  
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time  
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
I really need you tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight_  
  
"Jason, why are we doing this to ourselves, I love you, and I know deep down you love me," she said, showing him her soul. Showing him that she still loved him, even if they were apart, even if he had thrown her heart on the floor and stepped on it, she still loved him. Moving closer to him, she looked him in the eye, seeing the pain, love, hurt, and the battle raging behind the blue orbs, she somehow always got lost in. His eyes were so deep, she always loved his eyes, always loved his smile, always loved him. Always would. She knew that, forever, he would be the only one that owned her heart, no matter who she met, who came in and out of her life, he would always own her heart.  
  
"I can't, I promised Sonny, I cant," he started to reach for the door once again, and once again she stopped him. Getting between him and the door.  
  
"Don't do this Jason, please don't walk away from me again," reaching up, she pulled his face in for a kiss, and she felt his resolve fall away and he pulled her body close to him.  
Closing any and all the distance that was between him, and it was like it used to be. Their kiss full of passion, hope, love, and forever. Just like it should be.  
  
"I love you Courtney, God I love you.......but Sonny, I can't turn my back on him," he said raggedly, after they pulled apart. Her breathing still hard, and her eyes, still wet with tears.  
  
"Sonny turned his back on his family, his children, Jason don't you see that, Sonny cares about Sonny.......and Sonny alone, don't please, don't be like him. Please," pleading, her hands still fisting his shirt. Seeing his eyes, tear up, she let her own fall.  
  
_Once upon a time I was falling in love  
But now I'm only falling apart  
There's nothing I can do  
A total eclipse of the heart  
Once upon a time there was light in my life  
But now there's only love in the dark  
Nothing I can say  
A total eclipse of the heart_  
  
He pulled away from her, and she felt a sob lodge itself in the back of her throat, and he turned away from him. Letting out a sigh that was long overdue. Feeling her anger rise,  
she grabbed his shoulder, turning him to face her, "Damn you, **DAMN YOU TO HELL. YOU COME HERE, MAKING ME THINK THERE MIGHT BE A CHANCE FOR US AND THEN YOU START SPOUTING OFF SONNY WORDS TO ME. HOW DARE YOU, HOW FCKING DARE YOU. I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE, NOW, GET OUT**!" she watched him, walk to the door and give her one last look, then he was gone and she was on the floor. Her tears and sob shaking her body. All the pain that she had held back for weeks, just breaking through the gate.  
  
She sat there for hours, letting all the tears just have their way, then she stood up. Sighing, this......this wasn't the time to fall apart, not yet at least, maybe one day should could just sit for hours and cry, but not to tonight, not today. Wiping the tears that still lingered there, she walked to the door. Tomorrow, it would be time to sell, tomorrow, she would come here, clean this place out and then sell it. Closing the door, she felt the tears stinging the back of her eyes, she was closing the door on the past, on the future, on what might have been. She was closing the journey.

_Turnaround bright eyes  
Turnaround bright eyes  
Turnaround, every now and then I know  
you'll never be the boy you always you wanted to be  
Turnaround, every now and then I know  
you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am  
Turnaround, every now and then I know  
there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you  
Turnaround, every now and then I know  
there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and  
then I fall apart  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and  
then I fall apart_

**Three Months Later  
**  
Courtney walked into the new office building she and Carly owned. Smiling, they now owned the new wedding planning firm in PC. It was a booming success, after the Quatermaine Cassadine wedding. She was happy, wasn't she? She and her best friend were a success why shouldn't she be happy. Looking at the lilac dress that was hanging for the door, it must had just gotten delivered. It was the dress, she would wear as the matron of honor of Carly and Sonny's wedding, their fourth one. Giving a little laugh, they had been divorced 3 times, and now they were getting married once again. It showed that love could over come the pain and lack of trust. The wedding was tonight, and she had come here to pick the dress up. Carly was at her new apartment, primping.  
  
Jason was the best man, and even though, Sonny and her relationship was on the rocks, hers and Jason's was okay. They were friends, somewhat again, and she guessed that was good. It wasn't the best but it was okay. She still loved him, and on some level she knew she still loved him. But that was for a later thought, she had to get ready. Grabbing the dress, she left, going home.  
  
She watched her best friend walked down the aisle, looking beautiful, her hair up, and the dress a perfect fit. As Carly handed Courtney her bouquet, she watched Carly become her legal sister once again. When the priest said Sonny may now kiss his bride, Courtney looked over at Jason. His eyes were wet, just like hers. This had been them one day long ago. They had said their vows to one another, had pledge their love for all time in front of their friends and now they were apart.  
  
Letting her tears fall she hugged her best friend, before they walked back down the aisle. Then it was Jason and her turn. Linking arms they followed the bride and groom, trying to duck the rice that was being thrown. Getting into the second limo that pulled up, they looked at each other. Finally she broke the silence, "It was a beautiful ceremony."  
  
"Yeah I guess practice makes perfect in their case," they both laughed at that, but soon they became serious.  
  
"It makes you hope you know," she said, "that maybe forevers do happen," looking down. She pulled looked at her nail, rubbing a fake spot that had magically appeared.  
  
_And I need you now tonight  
And I need you more than ever  
And if you'll only hold me tight  
We'll be holding on forever  
And we'll only be making it right  
Cause we'll never be wrong together  
We can take it to the end of the line  
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time  
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
I really need you tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
_"Yeah.......I guess it does," he leaned close and kissed her. In surprised she kissed him back, he pulled her closer until she was sitting in her lap. Then they both pulled apart, their breaths ragged. "Courtney, maybe our last forever too, like Sonny and Carly."  
  
"I think it can Jason, all we have to do is opened the door that we closed. All we have to do is take the first step back, remember the journey never ends, never even if we take a different path, we can always find our way back. Always find the path to forever," he smiled at that, and kissed her deep again. It had been so long since she had kissed him lip with passion, since she had seen his smile. Since she had smiled.  
  
"I love you Courtney Morgan, and I would love to have my rings back on your finger.........I mean if that is okay with you, because I know I hurt you," he said shyly and she couldn't help but kiss him. Didn't he know that she would always take him back, always love him. Always want to wear his rings again.  
  
"Yes Jason, that is all I want," she said softly, and kissed him again. Kissing him with all the love she had in her. All the passion that she had to hold back. Their love had found the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Finally, they were taking the right steps on the journey to forever.  
  
_Once upon a time I was falling in love  
But now I'm only falling apart  
There's nothing I can do  
A total eclipse of the heart  
Once upon a time there was light in my life  
But now there's only love in the dark  
Nothing I can say  
A total eclipse of the heart_


End file.
